Il processo di formazione di una famiglia adottiva è lungo e spesso ricco di difficoltà.
Il primo passo che attende la coppia genitoriale nel percorso verso questo obiettivo è sentirsi legittimati a curare e crescere il figlio adottivo, ovvero “legittimarsi nel proprio ruolo”.
Volendo usare una metafora, è come se esistesse una sedia per ciascuno dei componenti la coppia adottiva: una deputata alla madre e una deputata al padre.
Due sedie, entrambe vuote.
E’ importante che il genitore adottivo abbia ben presente questo concetto.
Indipendentemente dalla causa, il genitore biologico ha ormai lasciato quella sedia e il genitore adottivo ha tutti i diritti di occupare un posto che altrimenti rimarrebbe vuoto.
Non si tratta, quindi, di mandar via o rimpiazzare nessuno in un ruolo: il genitore adottivo arriva nel momento in cui quella sedia è già stata lasciata.
Occorre quindi avere ben presente la distinzione tra chi genera e chi cresce.
Occupata quella sedia, il genitore adottivo assume il ruolo genitoriale di colui che fa crescere, “legittimato” dalla rinuncia operata dal genitore che ha generato.
Ecco dunque che vengono a delinearsi tre compiti che il genitore adottivo è chiamato ad assolvere a favore di suo figlio.
Compito riparativo
Ogni bambino che arriva all’adozione porta dentro di sé la ferita dell’abbandono, dove la perdita improvvisa dei punti di riferimento e la percezione di essere rifiutato hanno segnato profondamente il suo percorso di crescita 1.
I genitori adottivi hanno la funzione di fornire al bambino una chiave di interpretazione dei fatti accaduti e di aiutarlo ad elaborare la sofferenza dell’abbandono e la costruzione della sua identità come figlio adottivo. Questa capacità della coppia deriva dall’abilità di mettere in parola i sentimenti, gli stessi sentimenti di lutto che essi hanno vissuto e sperimentato confrontandosi con la sterilità 2. E’ così che genitori e figlio si riconoscono reciprocamente nell’altro, si accolgono e si riconoscono come famiglia.
Compito narrativo
I bambini adottivi hanno una propria storia alle spalle, unica e particolare per ciascuno, che i genitori hanno il delicato compito di custodire finché non avranno un’età sufficiente per comprenderla.
Nel frattempo essi hanno il dovere di raccontargliela con metafore e termini adatti all’età, evento che permette al bambino di sentirsi parte di quella nuova famiglia e questo racconto dovrà essere negli anni modificato ma soprattutto arricchito 3.
Altrettanto importante è narrare al figlio la storia d’amore dei genitori adottivi, come si sono conosciuti e uniti, affinché egli possa comprendere le sue origini all’interno della famiglia adottiva che costituiranno la base per lo sviluppo della sua identità.
Compito contenitivo
Questa parte si rende necessaria in adolescenza, periodo particolare sia per la vita del ragazzo che per la vita familiare. Qui il ragazzo sviluppa la propria identità costruendo un ponte tra passato e futuro, operando una sorta di verifica di tutto il suo percorso di adozione. Egli deve rielaborare la sua storia in termini nuovi, elaborare l’abbandono ponendo nuove domande per non rimanervi imbrigliato, rivedere il suo senso di appartenenza alla famiglia adottiva per riuscire poi a separarsene.
I genitori adottivi devono tornare a fare i conti con quelli biologici che hanno creduto di poter sostituire e si possono sentire traditi e di non bastare più al proprio figlio.
L’abilità di contenere si traduce quindi nella capacità di tollerare la rabbia e l’aggressività tipiche di questa fase, consapevoli che si trattano di emozioni riferite ai genitori biologici assenti. Questo però non deve minare la consapevolezza dei genitori del valore del proprio ruolo e delle loro capacità, riconoscendo dietro questi atteggiamenti null’altro che il bisogno del ragazzo di risposte.
117 Commenti
Invia un commento
TUTTI GLI ARTICOLI DEL MIO BLOG
Iscriviti alla Newsletter
Ti Ascolto
Contatti
Ricevo a Monza (zona San Fruttuoso), Lissone centro e a Vimercate.
Per informazioni e/o appuntamento, chiamami al numero +39.349.13.21.282, mandami una mail all'indirizzo alessiamanara.psy@gmail.com oppure compila il form accanto.
Regards for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting info .
I haven?¦t checked in here for a while since I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
Very interesting subject, thank you for putting up.
There are definitely a variety of details like that to take into consideration. That may be a nice level to carry up. I offer the thoughts above as normal inspiration but clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up where crucial thing might be working in trustworthy good faith. I don?t know if greatest practices have emerged round issues like that, but I’m sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Each boys and girls really feel the impression of only a second’s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.
Thanks for the marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and may come back from now on. I want to encourage continue your great job, have a nice weekend!
Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across. It extremely helps make reading your blog significantly easier.
It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this put up and if I may I wish to recommend you some fascinating things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more issues approximately it!
An attention-grabbing discussion is price comment. I think that it is best to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo subject however typically individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
I really like your writing style, fantastic info , regards for putting up : D.
Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this website. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s challenging to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal. I must say you’ve done a very good job with this. Also, the blog loads very fast for me on Opera. Outstanding Blog!
Hey there, You’ve performed an excellent job. I’ll definitely digg it and in my opinion recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.
It is really a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you simply shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Great write-up, I am regular visitor of one¦s blog, maintain up the excellent operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a long time.
Loving the info on this web site, you have done outstanding job on the articles.
As I website owner I believe the subject matter here is real good, thanks for your efforts.
magnificent points altogether, you just gained a brand new reader. What would you recommend about your post that you made some days ago? Any positive?
I’m still learning from you, as I’m improving myself. I definitely love reading everything that is posted on your site.Keep the posts coming. I enjoyed it!
I’m extremely pleased to discover this website. I wanted to thank you for ones time just for this fantastic read!
I haven’t checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
Woh I like your posts, saved to bookmarks! .
I do accept as true with all of the ideas you have presented for your post. They are really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too brief for beginners. May just you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.
I¦ve learn several excellent stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how a lot effort you place to create the sort of great informative site.
I don’t unremarkably comment but I gotta say appreciate it for the post on this one : D.
Very interesting information!Perfect just what I was looking for!
coursework website
[url=”https://brainycoursework.com”]coursework writer uk[/url]
coursework writing services
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an extraordinarily spectacular possiblity to discover important secrets from this web site. It really is very pleasing and as well , jam-packed with a good time for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your web site at a minimum three times in 7 days to study the latest items you have. Of course, I am just always astounded with your awesome thoughts served by you. Certain two points in this article are ultimately the most efficient we have all ever had.
arimidex 1mg usa anastrozole 1mg for sale buy arimidex 1mg pill
Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
Thanks for another fantastic article. Where else could anybody get that type of information in such an ideal way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such info.
I don’t ordinarily comment but I gotta state thankyou for the post on this perfect one : D.
naprosyn ca naprosyn 250mg drug lansoprazole 30mg tablet
order biaxin 250mg online purchase clonidine generic buy meclizine 25 mg online
spiriva medication order spiriva 9mcg generic cost hytrin 1mg
order albuterol 100mcg pill order pantoprazole 20mg generic generic ciprofloxacin
order actos pills buy sildenafil generic buy sildenafil online cheap
singulair uk singulair 10mg price sildenafil 100 mg
order cialis 20mg generic online casinos usa casino money
You are a very clever individual!
generic for cialis ed pills cheap tadalafil 40mg canada
Wonderful site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really love to be a part of group where I can get suggestions from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thanks a lot!
certainly like your web site but you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth on the other hand I’ll certainly come back again.
online blackjack for money best online casinos that payout playing poker online
ivermectin 12mg pills for humans symmetrel 100 mg for sale buy dapsone sale
casino games win real money online blackjack for real money usa best casino slot games
adalat pills buy adalat 10mg generic cheap allegra 180mg
Nell’808 il sovrano bulgaro Krum avanzò verso Syar. Durante il regno di Khan Presian (836 – 852), a partire dall’837, la maggior parte dell’area rientrò nei confini del Primo Stato bulgaro fino al Mar Blu. Durante il regno del principe Boris-Michael (852-889) la Bulgaria si convertì al cristianesimo e la Scuola di Letteratura di Ohrid divenne il più importante centro culturale ed educativo, insieme alla capitale, del regno bulgaro.
roulette game canada online pharmacy write college essays for money
buy altace online purchase altace for sale etoricoxib 60mg oral
assignments for sale buy azulfidine 500mg for sale order azulfidine pill
buy doxycycline 100mg without prescription buy cleocin 300mg pill clindamycin without prescription
Greetings! Very helpful advice on this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
mesalamine over the counter irbesartan 300mg tablet oral irbesartan 150mg
benicar 20mg price order verapamil 120mg pill divalproex tablet
buy acetazolamide 250 mg online purchase diamox pills buy azathioprine 25mg online cheap
clobetasol oral order buspar 10mg pill cordarone 200mg sale
lanoxin ca buy molnunat 200mg pills molnunat order online
I am glad to be a visitant of this staring web blog! , regards for this rare info ! .
amoxicillin brand generic stromectol for humans ivermectin oral solution
order coreg for sale order ditropan pills buy generic elavil
dapoxetine 60mg brand avanafil 200mg usa domperidone price
fosamax oral buy fosamax 70mg online cheap cost motrin
Thanks for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting info .
buy indocin sale buy cenforce pill cenforce sale
nortriptyline 25mg canada buy paxil pill order paroxetine
It’s actually a cool and useful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
order generic doxycycline 100mg purchase doxycycline sale methylprednisolone 8 mg over counter
buy pepcid without prescription mirtazapine 15mg uk purchase mirtazapine generic
buy generic tadalafil amoxicillin 250mg ca trimox 500mg cheap
order ropinirole without prescription purchase ropinirole for sale trandate drug
highest rated canadian pharmacy
fenofibrate 160mg canada fenofibrate us viagra fast shipping
esomeprazole 20mg oral buy furosemide 40mg buy furosemide pills
I conceive this website contains very superb composed written content blog posts.
cialis without a doctor prescription Fda approved cialis sildenafil 50mg
order minocin order minocycline 50mg online cheap hytrin brand
order cialis 40mg pills buy best erectile dysfunction pills ed pills for sale
Great website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am bookmarking your feeds also.
Wonderful site. Lots of useful info here. I am sending it to several friends ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks for your effort!
order modafinil 200mg for sale buy generic stromectol 3mg buy phenergan generic
clomiphene 50mg brand clomiphene order online prednisolone 5mg ca
deltasone 10mg cost amoxil 250mg without prescription buy amoxicillin pills
Major thanks for the article post. Much thanks again.
My website: порно кыргыз
order isotretinoin 40mg for sale order accutane 40mg pills acillin without prescription
I have read a few excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you place to create this sort of magnificent informative website.
non prescription ed pills buy finasteride 5mg generic finasteride 1mg pills
Wohh precisely what I was looking for, appreciate it for putting up.
you’re truly a good webmaster. The website loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you have performed a fantastic job in this topic!
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this outstanding blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group. Talk soon!
Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again. I am taking your feeds also.
ivermectin 3 mg tabs stromectol pills buy deltasone 40mg
I am not real great with English but I get hold this real easy to understand.
There is noticeably a lot to realize about this. I feel you made various nice points in features also.
Very interesting subject , appreciate it for putting up.
Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol
ondansetron 8mg tablet buy amoxil pills buy sulfamethoxazole generic
Attractive part of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to say that I get in fact loved account your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your augment or even I success you get admission to consistently rapidly.
F*ckin’ awesome things here. I am very satisfied to peer your post. Thanks so much and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?
I am really inspired with your writing abilities as smartly as with the structure for your blog. Is this a paid subject or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s uncommon to look a nice blog like this one nowadays..
There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.
Very interesting topic, appreciate it for posting.
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future. Many thanks
Real informative and wonderful complex body part of subject matter, now that’s user friendly (:.
Hey there, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, very good blog!
I wanted to create you one little word to help say thank you as before for these great things you have contributed at this time. It is quite tremendously generous with people like you in giving extensively what exactly a number of us might have offered as an ebook to end up making some cash for themselves, specifically considering the fact that you might have done it in case you desired. Those smart ideas in addition worked to become a great way to be aware that someone else have a similar interest the same as my very own to know a great deal more regarding this matter. I am certain there are numerous more fun opportunities up front for individuals that take a look at your blog post.
I am not very good with English but I find this really easygoing to understand.
It is really a nice and helpful piece of information. I¦m satisfied that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
What i do not understood is in truth how you are not really a lot more well-appreciated than you may be now. You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore significantly when it comes to this matter, produced me in my view imagine it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated until it?¦s one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. At all times care for it up!
Hi I am so excited I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was looking on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome work.
brand isotretinoin 20mg order isotretinoin 40mg generic azithromycin 250mg oral
It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
I really appreciate this post. I?¦ve been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again
Thanks , I’ve just been searching for info approximately this topic for a long time and yours is the best I have came upon till now. However, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you certain concerning the source?
Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re using? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you recommend a good hosting provider at a fair price? Thank you, I appreciate it!
I really like your writing style, wonderful info, regards for posting :D. “Freedom is the emancipation from the arbitrary rule of other men.” by Mortimer Adler.
brand ventolin order synthroid without prescription oral augmentin 1000mg
prednisolone 10mg over the counter buy gabapentin 600mg pills lasix 100mg uk
buy generic modafinil 100mg buy modafinil 100mg for sale order generic lopressor