Recentemente ho letto questa frase in un libro 1 :
“Si parla di coppia terapeutica per indicare l’unità di lavoro tramite la quale la sostanza psicanalitica trova la sua forma, la sua applicazione, cioè si estrinseca e diventa operativa”.
Nonostante l’impronta filosofica di questa frase, si riesce a percepire la profondità del legame che si instaura tra paziente e terapeuta e che la vera natura della psicanalisi nasce e sboccia grazie a queste due persone e all’interno della relazione che li lega. E’ un legame sottile, spesso messo in discussione, amato e odiato e allo stesso tempo, talvolta a rischio, o difficile da mantenere, ma sempre saldo nelle sue fondamenta e unico nel suo genere.
Il brano prosegue così:
“La sua costituzione avviene su presupposti assai precisi: che un certo tipo di domanda di aiuto si incontri con un certo tipo di risposta. In altre parole, devono incontrarsi un bisogno capace, attraverso il desiderio, di diventare domanda di aiuto e una risposta capace di porsi non come risponditrice al bisogno ma come interrogatrice su sul bisogno, su quel desiderio, su quel particolare modo di esprimersi della domanda”.
Ed è proprio così, esiste un tempo ben preciso, inconsapevole e diverso per ognuno perché un bisogno sia maturo al punto da potersi chiamare domanda d’aiuto. Un bisogno non è necessariamente una domanda di aiuto, è una mancanza di qualcosa di cui si sente la necessità, un qualcosa che però deve essere indispensabile affinché si maturi la domanda di aiuto e non sempre i tempi coincidono. Anche la dimensione del desiderio risulta rilevante, dal momento che quello di cui si sente la mancanza deve essere fortemente desiderato affinché si manifesti una domanda di aiuto, perché essa affondi le sue radici proprio nel desiderio.
Si può dire che esistano due desideri alla base della domanda di aiuto: il desiderio di ciò di cui la persona sente la mancanza e il desiderio di ottenerla. E’ una sottile differenza, ma significativa e molto profonda. Insieme questi due desideri compongono il motore che spinge una persona ad operare una domanda di aiuto.
Più avanti si legge:
“In altre parole, debbono incontrarsi due persone, due soggetti, ciascuno dei quali capace, per la sua parte, di identificarsi nella propria peculiare posizione: il paziente, che chiede aiuto per un’intuizione di potenzialità inespresse perché impedite; il curante, che si offre come capace di ascolto e di accompagnamento dell’altro nella ricerca. Tra queste due polarità si sviluppa il processo analitico.”
Questa frase esprime con parole semplici e chiare cosa avviene nella stanza, nella relazione.
Questo argomento è ancora oggi oggetto di pregiudizi, ma la realtà è molto semplice, proprio come viene descritta qui: una persona con un forte bisogno opera una domanda di aiuto a un’altra persona capace di ascolto e accoglienza. Insieme essi cominciano un cammino di ricerca di quelle potenzialità inespresse, nascoste, impedite, momentaneamente invisibili già insite nella persona ma non immediatamente disponibili per diversi motivi, che il curante aiuterà a portare a galla offrendo il suo punto di vista professionale e il suo sostegno e supporto per la loro risoluzione ai fini di un cambiamento.
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